Gettin' hitched

They say that "Marriage will make you holy."

It's the truth, and I'm not even married yet!

I am getting married to a wonderful woman in 46 days, and I am very excited about it. God has truly given me a wonderful companion, and I don't think I know how lucky I am. I wanted to write a little about my experience over the last 200 days or so working up to my wedding day that I thought might benefit someone else someday.

So, my opening sentence was, "Marriage will make you holy." I should also add to that some advice that I got from my church: "Marry the woman that keeps you holy, not the woman that makes you happy." At first glance, it's somewhat a strange statement, but with some qualification, it makes a whole lot of sense. What I learned a few weeks ago, was it is God's wish to make us all joyful, not merely "happy." Joyful (I think) is what you get when you are walking with Christ. Buying a new car, or a new tool, or eating a hamburger will make you happy, but can you say it would make you joyful? I don't think so. Joyful is something you get when you follow Christ, and are living the way God intends for you to live. I want that. I want to live the way God intends. Anything short of that is certain death. And not necessarily physical death, but spiritual death, which I think might be worse. Jessica is definitely the woman who will keep me holy.

Nothing has brought me closer to God than being in this relationship with Jessica. My desire to be a good husband for her has really made me take a hard look at myself and being the process of rooting out my sin in order to be a better husband for her. Example: I am a terrible impulse spender. I'll buy anything shiny if I think it'll bring me a moment of fun. The Bible calls us men to be the spiritual leader in the house, which includes leading with finances. It's not to say that Jessica and I don't make all the financial decisions together, because we do. Rather, this is a call for me to die to my selfish desires for the benefit of the family; or my wife specifically. So I can't be out there buying every little BMW part I want, I need to be saving for her, and for what is best for the family, not just my vehicular desires.

This is a hard lesson for someone who is terrible about buying anything and everything for his car. I have a garage full of tools and parts intended to be installed on the car, but have sat, gathering dust. I love my car, and I love doing "car stuff," but I need to lead, and sacrifice my lust for car things, and take care of her first.

I think this is a hard lesson for many men. We men have so many things that we want, and want to do. We like sports, and cars, and gadgets, and all kids of "toys." Many times, men put these things before the needs of their wives, and their wives become resentful to their hobbies. I've seen it many times. I pray that I always put Jessica first, and keep my car hobby for when we have extra resources, and everything is taken care of already.

So when I say that "marriage makes you holy," this is the kind of thing I am talking about. I am not even married yet, but I am already feeling the effects of God working in my heart to change my way of thinking, and take care of Jessica first, then my other hobbies come a distant second. The great thing is: I feel better about myself, and my prospects of being a good husband. Score.